A troubled night at Bridge Farm, with the Pyrex Kid having bad dreams, ‘being chased by an orge’. Who could that possibly be? Pat and Tony are distressed and want to keep him off school. They are also worried that Helen hasn’t been in touch and the fact that she hasn’t seen her son.

    Tom has been down to Blossom Hill to pick up stuff for Henry and the news from the Evil One isn’t good. Even the national press have got hold of the story and a Sunday red-top has published a picture of Helen in stage make-up from “Blythe Spirit”, next to a picture of saintly Rob, picking up rubbish for Clean for the Queen. “She looks like a zombie.” The lines have been drawn. Even Eddie thinks it’s an “open and shut case.” Tony thinks Rob is an “ordinary bloke”. Only Tom seems to think that the Evil One is, in fact, evil.

    Clarrie, off in a wee cloud of her own, is worried about Anneka Rice’s reaction to the stolen church money. I can’t help think that events have somewhat overtaken petty theft. Eddie is still determined to pay back the nicked cash and is relying on the windfall of Lynda paying handsomely for his ‘rustic’ shepherd’s hunt. “A fine example of rural Borchester craftsmanship.” Really? We shall await La Snell’s judgement.

    At Brookfield, David is elbow-deep in a cow, supervised by Bert. “I can’t cope with that.” Neither can I. He calls Alistair. Bert is busy working hard on the new Eggmobile. The Fairborther Brothers seem to be quite happy with the publicity that bunging the hens in an old caravan has brought and have lost interest in Bert’s labours.

    Pat and Tony meet with the solicitor. He’s still not sure that Helen can see Henry as he is a key witness. Even if Helen gets bail, she won’t be allowed to return to Ambridge. Pat and Tony are horrified. They tell the solicitor that Helen was “on edge” in recent weeks and about Rob’s plans for a birthday weekend for his lovely wife. They talk about hiring a barrister through Legal Aid. Carol’s daughter (Anna Tregorran – who nobody has ever mentioned) is, surprisingly enough, a barrister specialising in women’s cases. Quelle surprise.

    Bert meets Jill and gives him some sort of plan for his new garden. Liz turns up, excited about the Borchester Business Woman of the Year Lunch, but sure she’s going to lose. She’s taking Shula, Emma and others to the seven course lunch. David arrives and talk turns to Liz’s birthday. Jill wants a nice lunch at Lower Loxeley.

    Jazzer, mucking about with pigs with Neil, talks long and loud about the Events at Blossom Hill - he thinks that’s there are better ways of offing the Evil One than stabbing him – shooting, poisoning, sabotaging his car, etc. He makes light of the situation and then Tom turns up suddenly and belts him one. He then sacks Jazzer and throws him off the farm, furious. Tom is very, very upset and frantically chops logs for ages until Deep Pip tries to calm him down.

    Jazzer meets Kirsty and asks for a room and explains what has happened. She refuses when she hears what he did. “You can be such a prat sometimes.”

    Later, at The Bull, Neil suggests that Jazzer apologise to Tom – stubborn Jazzer refuses. Neil is worried about the extra workload with the Bridge Farm pigs.

    Tom and Kirsty meet later in the evening. Kirsty tries to talk him round. “Punching him was really stupid. I’m an idiot.” “I can’t bear to see you like this. Let it go.” He calms down and seems to listen. She gets him to focus completely on getting Helen home.

    Susan cooks Neil a huge breakfast, using the Fairbrother Brother eggs that she was given as a “free sample” from Josh. Neil is furious that Josh seems to have gone into partnership with the Brothers when he should be promoting Neil’s eggs.

    Adam is supervising Ed planting strawberries who is full of new knowledge from his crop spraying course. Later, Emma is very excited about her Borchester Business Woman of the Year lunch as Liz’s guest. Susan arrives with news that Rob is over the worst (Cruella has been in the shop), so no murder charge for Helen.

    Neil meets with Josh and confronts him about his divided loyalties, promoting the Brother’s eggs instead of theirs. Josh thinks that they are different markets, Neil isn’t convinced and will end the partnership if Josh continues to go out to bat for the Brothers.

    At the shop, Dr Locke is filled in on the local news from Susan. She seems to be siding with Jazzer. Like a lot of the village, she sees the Dark Lord as only a force for good. Rex turns up and Susan points him to The Echo which has done a feature on the Fairbrother Brothers egg caravan, “Hens on Holiday,” is the headline. There’s quotes from Josh (“Neil’s not going to like that”) and news of Justin’s sponsorship of the Brother’s business (“Neil’s not going to like that, either”).

    At the Business Woman lunch, Justin flirts a bit with Lillian, who is dressed up to the nines and beyond. Shula and Lizzie are excited and Richard does a bit of laying sand with Liz. Lillian makes a speech as does Justin – Lizzie doesn’t win. Layla Brodie (who) wins with “the biggest catering business in Borchester.” Lizzie gets runner-up. Dr. Locke is creepily fawning with her after.

    Pat tells Peggy that Helen doesn’t want to see them. “It makes no sense.” Pat is very distressed. They have started writing her letters. It’s Helen’s birthday tomorrow. Peggy tries to buck her up with news of Carol’s daughter, the barrister, and how good she is.

    Eddie meets Lynda with the good news that the shepherd’s hut is finally finished. Lynda is excited and can’t wait to see it. “What is that monstrosity!?, that carbuncle?” says Lynda when she sees the crappy aluminium chimney that Eddie has fitted. She is furious. “You won’t present an abomination like that to her majesty.” She’s not going to pay until Eddie has fixed it.

    Pat and Kirsty go to meet Anna Tregorran. Kirsty is immediately excluded from the meeting as she is a key witness. Pat fills her in on the facts as she understands them. “Coersive contol” is discussed, but the barrister feels that “we have a mountain to climb.” It’s Helen’s word against Rob’s.

    Lillian is driving Peggy back from the hairdressers, “Patient and loving” is still Peggy’s take on the Dark Lord. A large limo has arrived outside Blossom Hill Cottage. It’s the car that Rob had booked for Helen’s birthday to take them away to a posh Cotswold hotel for a romantic weekend. Peggy is upset for Cruella (still scrubbing blood at Blossom Hill) “It doesn’t look good for Helen.” No it doesn’t.


The Week In Ambridge

The Week In Ambridge

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I am a new listener to The Archers - my Mother started me at birth, so I have only been listening for 46 years. Apologies if I get things wrong.

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