• THE WEEK IN AMBRIDGE 24/1/16

    We start in the milking parlour with Mathew and Pip flirting and snogging and remembering their previous of passion last night. All very exciting until the talk turns to boring old cows. Mathew wants the Archers to visit a farm he used to work on that uses the system that they are trying to change to. Pip is keen to go, but Ruth and David are too busy. Mathew is going, too. Then there’s more snogging.

    Jim and Jazzer are in the Bull, Jazzer is moaning about the cooking at Bridge Farm. “You cannae move pig arks on mung beans.” Jim is still not back in his house after the flood. Still no word about the Riley. Jolly Kenton puts in a rare appearance. Jazzer and Jim are hosting a Burns Night at the Bull. Jim is going to give a talk about the origins of whisky. Thrilling.

    Even though he’s had a leaving do, Charlie is still hanging about like a bad smell. Brian is over-seeing the dismantling of the Megadairy. Charlie will be in Ambridge until next Sunday – all the more time to chase Adam. He has a ‘what if’ moment about his management of Berrow Farm, but Brian bucks him up. “You are refreshingly realistic about running a business – unlike Adam.” Charlie defends Adam, obviously.

    Fallon’s café is struggling a bit. Jazzer and Tom are roped into promoting Sunday brunch, prompting Bridge Farm produce and Tom’s porky treats.

    David and Ruth are sorting out the lambing pens. They discuss the fact that their hunky cowman is shagging their daughter. David thinks he’s an improvement on the vile Jude. Brian turns up to find out about their new dairy system. He’s a bit sceptical and, weirdly, worried about the ecological impact. Since when did Brian care about the planet? After he leaves, they discuss Bert and his impending move back into his cottage.

    Lynda is visiting Lillian, showing her some backstage shots from ‘Calendar Girls’. Lynda is in high gear about the re-opening of her version of the South Bank and La Scala – the Village Hall. Her creative and spiritual home re-born! She is also going to put a ‘rustic’ shepherd’s wheeled hut in the grounds of Ambridge Hall. Slightly more tasteful than the watery grotto she initially wanted, until talked round by Robert. She sympathises with Lillian about her reluctance to return to the Dower House. Lillian wants to stay at Home Farm. Pussycat is still missing her Tiger. Me, too – I liked Matt. Wait until Brian finds out that Lillian is planning on entrenching under his roof for the foreseeable.

    The Grundy men are re-building the burnt out shed at Grange Farm. It’s a bit of a botch, but “you can’t see it from here.” I can’t wait for the Sterling’s return. Tom is chasing Joe for a long-lost traditional family recipe for black pudding. Eddie remembers his grandmother’s black pudding as basically inedible. Joe is, in fact, making it up to screw cash out of Tom.

    Brian is having a busy week charging about. He finds Adam and whips him up – “the whole farm seems to be running on mañana time at the moment.” He also moans on about Kate. “She wouldn’t last five minutes in a real job.” Brian also voices concerns about Charlie. “He seems to have had the stuffing knocked out of him in Ambridge.” In reality of course, he’s upset because he didn’t get stuffed by Adam.

    Back at Honeysuckle Cottage, Adam and Ian seem to be getting on much better and Ian is much cheerier. Ian invites Adam to Sunday lunch at Grey Gables at try out the new menu. Nice to hear Ian happier.

    Rex Fairbrother is at Brookefild, trying to get the tenancy agreement out of David. David is letting him borrow the tractor to clear some brush. Josh speaks for the first time in ages. He’s applied to do an agricultural course at Felbisham University. He’s not quite on board about the new Spring calving system. He’s suddenly showing a great deal of interest in the workings of the farm. He’s worried that his parents are screwing his future. David and Ruth are pleased that Josh is showing such a sudden interest in the workings of the farm, missing the underlying naked self-interest. Rex pumps Josh for information about Pip and Mathew.

    The Dark Lord has a meeting with Pat and Tom. Tony is busy and Helen is excluded as usual. Pat hasn’t seen her all week and wants to visit. The Evil One manages to put her off. Rob puts Tom in the shit by mentioning the fact that he’s been stocking non-organic (but locally sourced) beef at the shop. Pat is a bit shocked.

    Fallon meets Kirsty at the café to discuss planning a wedding that Fallon is catering for. It sounds a nightmare. Tom turns up and it’s not good. “We’re talking about weddings – not something I know much about as I missed mine.” Twist that knife, Kirsty.

    Mathew is being moved to Penrith by his employment agency for six months. Pip tries to be supportive. “It’s just a pity it’s so far from Ambridge.”

    Lillian is out riding with Justin on his horses, getting some property advice from him. Lillian is very impressed with her mount. Married Justin seems quite impressed with Lillian…

    Toby arrives back. “What the hell have you been playing at?” “The money’s done the job, Rex.” He’s been gone for ten days. Rex is furious. What was the money for? What’s in Brighton? Toby is keen on mobile hen houses. This is exciting stuff. Rex is worried about foxes.

    Charlie finds Adam struggling with a gate and it seems much calmer between them, until it gets all tense again. Charlie has still not given up on Adam, but there is a finality to Adam’s last ‘goodbye’.

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The Week In Ambridge

The Week In Ambridge

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I am a new listener to The Archers - my Mother started me at birth, so I have only been listening for 46 years. Apologies if I get things wrong.

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