• THE WEEK IN AMBRIDGE 26/2/17

    There’s a lot of baa-ing – we are at Brookfield during lambing and Jennifer is speaking to Ruth. She wants David and Ruth to come to her Miranda-trumping party, but they can’t come because of all the baa-ing. Jill won’t go, either, because she is holding the fort. She is also limping.

    Shula is watching Alistair get to grips with his new Anisha-supplied tablet. There’s a new x-ray machine coming, too and that needs a training session. Alastair scarpers to Brookfield for some squelching with a calf. He voices his tech concerns to Ruth. Ruth is more worried about Jill limping and calls Carol to voice HER concerns, but Carol acts as is Ruth is impugning the ability of the aged members of the village to help. Carol is eventaually persuaded to come to the farm to help. They discuss Toby’s newly-minted gin distilling licence.

    Jennifer is trying to excite Lillian about her party, but for obvious reasons, Lillian isn’t that keen. Rhuriah finally makes his presence felt – there’s some thumping music from upstairs and that’s it. Jennifer wants to ‘theme’ the evening, but Lillian isn’t helping. Later, Jennifer makes a marmalade cake and asks Lillian if she’s being ‘insensitive’ having a party after Tom and Kirsty’s dark news. Lillian does the ‘life goes on’ speech.

    Jazzer is with Susan. Susan is lording it up as she’s been invited to Jennifer’s little soiree. Jazzer has been looking after Tom in his rough Scottish way.

    Fallon and PC Carpet are also concerned, but more with Kirsty. Fallon had been tasked with catering for Jennifer’s party, which now has a ‘land’ theme. Carpet is also worried about the cricket AGM coming out. He still feels that if he can’t get women onto the team, the glorious Ambridge cricket machine will be ‘bust’. All the women he’s asked so far have turned him down.

    Clarrie and Eddie have had their first AirBnB guests who have left a glowing review for them. The only criticism was the lack of en-suite. Eddie thinks he can fix this…by moving out of the master suite. Later, setting out chairs at the Village Hall for a thrilling railway talk, Clarrie talks to Susan about her worries and how she doesn’t want to move out of the main bedroom. Susan thinks that she should “go for it”. “If you market Grange Farm properly, you could be sitting on a gold mine.”

    Our star-crossed lovers are having a business meeting with their clothes on. Justin is very grumpy about how many social events he has been booked in to. Lillian tries to help, but gets shut down – “If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it.” “You seem rather distant.” No shit, Lillian. It turns out that Justin is upset as he can’t ‘get’ the planning bloke at the council responsible for the broiler unit he’s trying to get off the ground. Detective Lillian gets on the case and finds out that Pat has the planning bloke’s wife as a veg-box customer and that they attend Rotary Club meetings.

    Kirsty has arrived back at Roy’s unexpectedly. She wants to go back to work. “I need to get back to normal, back to work.” “There’s really no rush.” Pragmatic Kirsty wants to resume as she left off. She goes off to see Tom. “You look dreadful, Tom.” She then heads to Bridge Farm to see Pat. Pat is delighted to see her – they’ve always got on.

    It’s the tutor’s night at Slow Freddie’s college and teenage Kenton is helping Freddie maintain the subterfuge about failing the maths exam. It turns into a bit of a farce – Freddie doing his best to keep Elizabeth away from the tutor. Kenton sits with the tutor and is finally interrupted by a furious Elizabeth. She’s seriously pissed off and bans Freddie from seeing Kenton, due to his “bad influence.”

    Alistair is balking about tarting up his waiting room. Shula helps persuade him that it’s looking ‘tired’. Alistair is still fretting about the vast cost of it all. Anisha is spending money like a sailor on leave.

    It’s the cricket AGM and Carpet is trying to maintain an air of positivity, in spite of being really nervous. His speech is forceful – not enough players, so we have to admit women to the team. There’s minor Ambridge-sized uproar. Questions about league involvement and changing room facilities follow. Fallon backs him up, but the meeting degenerates and Carpet loses the vote. In spite of this, Carpet and Alistair continue to try and recruit women. They talk about approaching Anisha…

    At Grey Gables, Roy and Lynda discuss Kirsty. Roy is worried that she’s rushing back into things and Lynda agrees. Their talk turns to the cricket crisis – Lynda is in full favour of a mixed team.

    Joe and Eddie are discussing the Air BnB project. After close questioning from Joe, it turns out, as we suspected, that what Eddie had actually asked the Sterlings is that they could have “friends” to stay – not “Hi, Oliver, can we run a Bnb from Grange Farm?” Later, they hit Ambridge Hall, ostensibly to ‘survey the guttering’, but actually to nick leaflets from Lynda’s “local things to do” rack for their own enterprise. It turns out that Grundy Towers has stolen guests from Lynda this weekend.

    Kirsty and Helen are having a shopping spree in Borchester, possibly in the fabled Underwood’s Womenswear Department. Kirsty describes her time in Blackpool with her folks and how less than thrilled her parents were when she told them Tom was the father. Kirsty says she’s feeling “fine” now. “Honestly, Helen, stop worrying, I’m good.” After, they hit the Bull and Kirsty gets pretty hyper – she wants to go clubbing with Roy and Jazzer in her new heels. Helen is concerned.

    Carol comes round to help Jill hold the fort at Brookfield in full lambing mode, but the two of them end up lounging about, watching old films (“An Affair to Remember” and “Citizen Kane” seem to be on the playlist). There’s a long, long discussion about “Kane” and they get behind with dinner for the workers. Weirdly, they mention “Desert Island Discs”. If the Archers listen to that, what do they listen to between ten and eleven fifteen on Sunday morning on Radio Four?

    Lillian takes lover-boy to a Rotary Club meeting to stalk the planning guy’s wife and the mission is such a success that they head off for an afternoon quickie. Unfortunately, they do this at Home Farm and are caught noisily in flagrante by Jennifer. There is the sickening sound of a well-cut trouser fly being done up. Jennifer is furious and accuses them of being “randy teenagers”. This scene will stay as long in the memory as Sid and Jolene’s shower scene – which still raises more of a shudder that the shower scene in “Psycho.”

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The Week In Ambridge

The Week In Ambridge

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I am a new listener to The Archers - my Mother started me at birth, so I have only been listening for 46 years. Apologies if I get things wrong.

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