The Week In Ambridge

The Week In Ambridge

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I am a new listener to The Archers - my Mother started me at birth, so I have only been listening for 46 years.  Apologies if I get things wrong.


By Campbell Mitchell, Mar 5 2017 11:32AM

We begin with a trip to the pigs with Kiera and Emmar. A dog has worried Kiera – some of the booming Grundy Towers AirBnB guests have a little yappy thing. Emmar is still worried about the ‘land’ theme for Jennifer’s party.

Meanwhile, Jennifer is making a rare visit to Adam as he sorts out an irrigation system for the polytunnels. She is still traumatised by finding our star-crossed lovers mid-rut. Lillian still wants to come to the party, but Jennifer has banned her. Jennifer has scored a social coup as she has invited the mayor of Felbisham, Rachael Pilkington. “She’s been on television several times.” She calls Emmar, who is very hedgey about the ‘land’ menu. Eddie wants Emmar to cook rabbit, who is now freaked out cooking for la Pilkington

Tony and Tom are sorting out spuds (lots of actual agricultural work going on this week for some reason). Tom’s off to Brazil on a conference as part of his Nuffeild course, but he thinks maybe he should stay for Kirsty. Tony doesn’t think he should rush into a decision.

Alistair is still moaning on about the money he’s being forced to spend by Anisha. He’s so worried, he tries to interest Lynda in a healthcare plan for the llamas. Does such a thing even exist? Later, he talks to Shula about the current prehistoric website for the practice. Needless to say, Anisha has hired a couple of bean-bag based web designers from hipster-central Borchester to re-vamp it.

Emmar hits the sage of Ambridge, Jim, for information about the ‘land’ theme for Jennifer’s party. “Dipping into Graves might help.” What is the old coot on about? Later, Emmar heads round to Jim’s, who drones on about Greek mythology, eventually coming up with the Horn of Plenty myth. Emma is instantly inspired. “There’s loads of things when you start thinking.”

Kirsty is back at work at the Health Club and is cornered by Lynda. She hasn’t put the wet towels out for collection and rushes off, refusing help from a concerned Lynda. Later, Lynda checks on her again and Kirsty is manic with ideas for improvement at Gray Gables. Lynda shows concern and Kirsty snaps back at her hard.

Mid-lambing, Josh shows David his farm machinery sales website, the snappily-titled Ambridge Farm Machinery, which has just gone live. “Nice work, Josh.” But then, David tries to rope him in to helping with lambing and he cries off busy.

Eddie, out rabbiting, is caught by Lynda, furious that Grundy Towers has been poaching guests from Ambridge Hall. “Lured away by the shoddy promise of a cheaper deal.” Lynda threatens to inform the Sterlings, but Eddie tells her that they already know. Lynda is then almost run over by Lilly, on a driving lesson with David. This leads to a general bleat about driving in the village. “Something will have to be done,” says Lynda. Again.

Tom has done some shopping for Kirsty. “You don’t have to worry about me.” Tom tells her that he’s cancelled his Brazil trip and is considering dropping out of the whole scholarship. “You’re not thinking straight.” Kirsty tries to talk him round.

Anisha is out with Rex, doing something clandestine and out of sight of the village. Dogging? Nope- it’s cricket. Rex is training her at nets. Anisha’s cricket history is in the shadow of her uncle Ravi, but she’s very good (bowling, not batting). She gets on very well with Rex.

Over some light choral music, Emmar and Fallon present their ‘land’ menu to a ‘quite impressed’ Jennifer. “What a clever idea,” she says, when the Horn of Plenty reference is mentioned. The Mayor has a broccoli allergy (up there with llama health plans as unlikely things). Brian turns up, eats all the samples, and then suggests that NOT inviting Lillian will look strange. Jennifer reluctantly agrees.

On her way to a meeting, Anisha books an Uber and is surprised that Rex is her driver. “At least you’re working, now you’ve lost your allowance.” This upsets Rex who has a bit of a chip on his shoulder about this.

Tom meets Ruth and they discuss the miscarriage, Ruth remembering her own. “We were waiting for him…to become part of our lives.” Ruth suggests throwing himself back into work. “It will get easier, Tom – eventually.” Ruth even suggests changing his plans about Brazil – it doesn’t help that the conference was about baby food. It works and Helen drives him to the airport at the last minute.

It’s the night of the ‘land’ party and Jennifer is at maximum revs. She has to shoo Lillian away from the door when Justin and Miranda turn up. “Can that go on a padded hanger, Brian.” Later, Jim is pouring wine by the bucket-load down a very receptive la Pilkington’s throat. Nat King Cole plays and, apart from Jennifer chasing Lillian away from Justin and Miranda, all seems to be going well. Even Miranda eventually notices that Lillain has been mostly absent. It turns out that the mayor is getting pissed and can be “quite argumentative”. Jim and Lynda corner Brain about the bio-diversity aspect of the land deal. “Ambridge can’t afford to lose any more of its wild places.” Later, a rare apparence for Robert. He wants to work out a way of grassing up the Grundys to the Serlings about Grundy Towers without an eviction notice being the result. Lynda on Eddie - “He’s always lived in the post-truth society.” Class, Lynda. There’s some heat between Lillian and Justin about a missing earring and Miranda notices the vibe immediately. They leave, quickly – Miranda with a face like thunder. The mayor gets spectacularly drunk and is put in the bath. Lillian makes coffee from the survivors, but the Miranda/Justin fall out is yet to happen.

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